language, sneakiness, (lack of normal) sleep

Of recent changes the most significant one is language - the boys are in the middle of a "language explosion".  Two- and three-word sentences are the norm now.  Longer phrases have been reported.  Both of the boys add new words pretty much daily.  While Zev only speaks the words he understands, Benjamin is game to repeat pretty much anything you ask.

A few isolated cases of cooperative play happened.  For example, Zev would hand the puzzle pieces to Benya who would put them in place.  Most of the playing, however, continues to be "one at a time."

Recently we made a rather clumsy attempt to introduce boys to sharing their toys.  At one point Benjamin was already back in possession of his ride-able car-thing, while Zev's was still being ridden by a little girl.  Benjamin rode over and said several times "отдай брату!" - "return to brother!"  Fortunately, violence did not ensue.  Another time Alla had to take Zev to a doctor.  Naturally, Benjamin was not pleased to see her go.  Benya was told that Zev (out of ear shot) was going to receive a shot, which immediately tempered Ben's enthusiasm to go with.  For full disclosure, Zev needed no shots, the doctor saw a callus on his foot and told us to leave it alone.  Later, Alla'a mom, who remained behind with Benya, called Alla to check on things.  Benjamin demanded the phone and declared "брат нет укол!" - "brother no shot".

Benjamin continues to be the little Tasmanian Devil, having two speeds: neutral and full throttle.  While Ben has all the physical ability (can casually hang on a bar and lift legs above his head), he continues to be weary of new places.  Ben is also taciturn around strangers.  In the pool he prefers to be around mom and does not trust the water too much.  Getting Benya to lie back on the water is pretty much impossible.  At home, however, he is confident and independent.  Spending a whole three minutes in someone's lap is rare.  Mostly he checks in and speeds out.  Benya also knows what he wants, and if he does not get it, it is frequently WWIII.  After a time-out, of which he gets the lion's share, Benya usually calms down and can be distracted into a new game.

Zev is both more trusting and more devious.  He is good with strangers, happy to explore new places (preferably with a parent in tow), and loves the water.  When I ask him to blow some bubbles, which he can do perfectly, he tries to bend my head to the water so that I can do it for him.  No matter how upset, best way to comfort Zev is to give him a hug.  Unlike Benjamin, Zev can be persuaded to sleep a while longer, if company of a parent is provided.  We do try to avoid this option, for weakness if the path to despair (more on despair later).  For all of Zev's affection, Zev also knows how to push buttons.  When asked "how much do you love <insert caregiver here>?", he answers "чуть-чуть" - "a little bit" and grins.

The sleeping situation improved briefly - for a period of a few weeks this summer the boys slept 8 pm to very nearly 6 am.  This resulted in a stable routine which even allowed the parents to trade off nights putting boys to bed and semi-regular gym visits.  Then two runny noses were followed by two ear infections and it all went to hell.  Zev did well with the bitter-tasting antibiotic, but lost his sleep pattern, and now wakes up 2-4 times a night to be reassured and/or tucked in.  Ben hated the taste of the stuff, would spit it out (WWIII), and pretty much refused anything pink-ish, even grape-flavored Tylenol.  Not being able to give your child fever/pain medicine was lovely, especially in combination with having to go through Arab-Israeli peace negotiations daily for five days in order to complete the antibiotic course.

The brief ray of hope are Alla's parents, who have bravely taken the boys to sleep at their house one night a week.  The break of being able to pass out at 10:30 and only be woken by an alarm at 8:30 the next day has been magnificent.  I have no idea how long it will take them to give up on the whole thing, but I am going to take it one night at a time and run.

delayed birthday party took place, bargaining

This weekend we celebrated (a little delayed) the boys' second birthday.  Rain hardly stopped us, we had a lot of fun.  Thank you to all who joined us.  Hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed seeing you.  In other news, the park is still there.

Yesterday Zev made another step towards becoming a full member of society - he started bargaining.  When Alla picked him up to take him upstairs at bed time, he indicated he wanted a train and a few cars with him.  Alla told him he can have one train.  Zev looked at her and replied: "dva!" ("two!").

Pictures to follow.  Since this is Zev and Ben's blog (sorta) most of the pictures will be of them, with them, or of their immediate family.  We do have a pile of awesome shots, much too many to post here.  I am working on a drop box location where to plunk them all, including two videos.  Those who were at the party will get the link, everyone else can have it by request.

Things are moving along.  Today was interesting in a couple of ways.  For one, the boys only slept for one hour during their nap and the rest of the day was virtually meltdown-free.  Which, in itself, is an achievement and, perhaps, a sign of growth.

Also, the boys are starting to string two-concept not-quite-sentences together.  An example.  Benjamin wanted me to get a truck that rolled away.  So, he said "thprrrr papa!" - which we correctly interpreted as "I want papa to give me my truck."  OK, I won't read much into that.

Benjamin also has the distinction of the following remark.  Alla pointed out a circle and asked "What else is round?"
"Papa!" was the immediate reply.  No comments needed.

The boys have been drawing (with washable pens).  I have one drawing from each, titled (yes, both of them) "Hhshshsssss luna abka" meaning "Rocket moon clouds".

out for a walk in late March

Mama and the boys, 3/29/13

With Yulia and Marc

Are we in trouble, bro?

Not yet.
Good!  Let's plan something!

I got it!

Good plan, bro!

Check, please!

Zevi having a photo shoot on the couch, evidently, 3/30/13

A hard day's night

Just kidding!

March

Having fun in the bath.  3/1/13

Yep, this works

Getting stormy...

Almost too much...

Ok, get me out of here

What, that's it?

late February

At the Children's museum, 2/23/13

Benya, with dad lurking in the background..err...being the background

designing together

Zevi making waves

Ben at the waterfall

Where to next?

Benjamin playing with water...

...and occasionally drinking it

you....get over here!

Benya getting ready...

...and rocking out

studying properties of light.  also known as playing with lit up sticks

driving

and some more

Benya at the wheel

Yey!  Done with February.  Now only three and a half months behind...

somewhat ...ahem..delayed pictures

Back to somewhat of a chronological order...

Benya sliding 2/1/13

At the wheel

Planning his next move

getting ready...

...and sliding

Zevi with his friend and future co-conspirator Quinn

Benya riding a dragon 2/1/13

Zevi meeting a dog

the lost and found post

This entry was written originally on the boys’ birthday but somehow was not saved. Here is a reconstructed version.

So, it has been two years. I think today some sort of summary is expected. Here it is: we made it. Everyone (kids, parents, grandparents, relatives) is alive and relatively healthy, thank G-D. I have to tell you that I have no profound thoughts on the matter of the last two years. The non-profound ones I will keep to myself. Just the facts, then. Over the last two years I think I have been a decent father and even an OK partner in raising children. Not without a price, however. During the same two years I have been a crummy husband, a less then attentive son (in law as well), and a largely non-existent friend. As a family, the boys, Alla, and I have taken a lot from those around us and are very grateful to those who have been willing to give, or just put up with our absences. I hope things get better.

Why the introspection, you ask? Why thoughts of how things are for the adults? Why not just cute pictures and stories about the boys?  Tough. The blog is about raising twins and the effect this has on everyone around them is part of the experience. As any parent will tell you, it is not all unicorns shitting rainbows. More on the shitting later.

Recent news. The most significant was a visit from the Boston grandparents. Due to the regular Skype sessions, the time it took the boys to recognize Grandma Lina and Grandpa Misha was in the seconds. The boys enjoyed the visit tremendously. Both of the boys loved Grandpa Misha’s playing on the keyboard, though it was Zevi who on one occasion came over to my dad and ‘asked’ him to come and play. Both of the boys enjoyed the dramatic improvement of the quality of the nightly singing, complements mostly of Grandma Lina. Most of all, I imagine, they enjoyed two people who were willing to play with them with good humor and endless patience from earliest morning till bed time. Needless to say, Alla and I enjoyed being spoiled rotten by having someone take the kids every morning. We can’t wait to see you in July! And not just for the selfish reasons.

During my parents’ stay with us the boys visited the zoo and enjoyed a lot more of it than last year. Since we are now proud members of the zoo, the visits are a regular activity. The train still poses a challenge for Benya, but recently he was OK standing by the tracks and even waved at Zevi and I as we rode back into the station.

Changes in the boys.
While the boys do not speak that many words, they do recognize quite a few – when it suits them. Aunt Olga recently taught them to identify each other as “brat” (‘brother’), which they sometimes do upon request. In advance of the coming birthday the boys were taught to answer ‘how old are you?’ by lifting two index fingers and shouting “dva”! The disclaimer states that result of exactly two fingers and a clearly stated “dva” is not typical. Actual number of displayed fingers may vary.

The boys enjoy playing in the nearby fountain, occasionally drinking from it. We do try to stop them and when we are not successful we tell ourselves that this is good for their immune systems. So far, t’fu-t’fu, the only victim of this has been yours truly. One day, following a drink, no doubt, Zevi had the runs. The diapers full of liquid did not seem to bother him in the slightest, the cleaning just had to be more extensive. On a particularly memorable occasion I smelled something suspicious and pulled back on Zevi’s diaper to take a peek. To my surprise, I touched liquid. As I peered in, Zevi passed gas. Droplets flew. Thankfully, Zevi did not produce much pressure and only very small droplets. Thankfully, my mouth was closed.

Another episode deserves a telling (sorry, mom).  During my parents' visit mom made a wonderful soup for the boys and they, naturally, refused to eat it.  A day of unsuccessful attempts later, we found ourselves in the van, driving back from the zoo, I think.  Benya was answering questions about his zoo impressions.
"Did you like the elephants?"
"Yes!"
"Did you like the giraffes?"
"Yes!"
A couple of enthusiastic "yes's" later I grew suspicious.
"Benya, do you say 'yes' to everything?"
"Yes!" replied Benjamin, "Yes, yes, yes!"
My mom gave me a dirty look.
"Benechka, are you going to eat my soup?"
"NO!" said Ben and shook his head.
In the end - their loss.  More for us.  The soup was gone in the afternoon.

Both of the boys have iPads now and enjoy them tremendously. Since Benjamin won his (thank you Yana and Kirill for the raffle and for the sense of humor about the results!), we have bought another one, and the boys indeed have designated devices. Encased in military-grade (no kidding) cases. I suppose some part of me feels bad about giving each two year old an iPad, but guess what – I can get 15 minutes of peace pretty much any time at will, so I will take it, thank you very much. The boys rock puzzles (mostly Benya), drawing (mostly Zevi), songs and pictures that when touched make noises and say the word in English and Russian (both).

The boys now brush teeth - rather, play with water and watch mom and dad brush teeth which chewing on their brushes - enthusiastically and scream bloody murder if you try not to give them some toothpaste.

Zevi has learned to recognize the moon everywhere and loves pointing it out and saying “luna!” He has also learned “oblaka” for clouds and points them out as well. He, allegedly, on his own started says that the rocket (raised hand and engine sounds) flies to the clouds and the moon. Of the two boys Zev is more affectionate and is often content to just sit on someone’s lap. He is much more likely to give unsolicited hugs and kisses. Still the more easygoing (most of the time), he gets less upset about not getting the toy he wants. However, once he gets his hands on a toy – go ahead and try to pry it from his kung-fu grip. If asked, sometimes he may share, but mostly what is Zev grabs, Zev keeps.

Benjamin rarely sits still. He will come over, check the presence of a friendly lap, and be right off, exploring. If asked for a kiss, he will mostly offer his cheek, though lately he learned proper kissing from his brother. Benya displays substantially more empathy – sharing toys and willing to comfort his brother if he is upset.

But please, don’t think it is all fun and gentle games. The boys continue to push boundaries, be it batting at the hanging pictures at their room (which they’ve known for a year are off limits) or swatting at the computer during a Skype session. When they see me bringing over a laptop, they will waive their finger and say “no-no-no” and shake their heads – they are not allowed to touch. However, five minutes in Benya rushes in for the kill, aiming to swat at the keys or stomp on them. That gets him caught and pushed away (awesome!) and eventually into the corner (bummer…). Zev, observing this, reaches out with the tip of his finger and touches the very corner of the laptop; then looks at me to see of retribution will follow. Given Benjamin’s strong sense of fairness, I teach Zev that “touch” really means “make corporeal contact, regardless of force exerted” and off to the corner he goes. Skype session over.

The birthday was a fun day for the boys with the first gifts arriving (thank you Aunt Olga and Aunt Shawna and Grandma Rita and Grandpa Tolya!) The evening brought cupcakes (thank you again Aunt Shawna, you are awesome!), complete with two candles each. The Skype session with Boston grandparents and live, trans-continental singing of birthday songs and blowing out of candles, followed by eating cupcakes and bouncing off the walls (more so than usual).

So it goes, one grumpy early morning at a time, one long and exhausting day at a time, and one loud evening at a time.

current pics

I realize it is a bit of jump from January to June, but them is the breaks.  On the other hand, they are from, like, *today*.

Benya on the carpet (thank you Tetya Olya!) and holding onto his ball (Thank you Grandma Rita and Grandpa Tolya!)

Yes, there is a scratch on Benjamin's cheek.  No, we have no idea how he got it.  Be grateful I am not telling you about the two scrapes on his forehead, one from using it as a brake.  Ooops.

Going for the dunk

You know it's good!

You're not the only one with skills, bro.

Hanging on the basket.  Classic.  And the crowd goes wild!

Running (in) the house

All sugared up, messing around with Grandma Rita while the Boston grandparents watch on in envy.

This is the last picture, since right after things deteriorated into a two-on-one MMA match.  We do have a 5-minute, 1.6 GB video of the boys eating cupcakes and some (mostly) pretty bad singing.  Available upon request.

the owl and the bunny

Lately the 'sleep wars' have hit fever pitch.  Zev would push for earlier and earlier wake-up - which makes sense, since waking early meant being whisked away by mom to sleep some more downstairs.  Zev's wake-up slid towards 4:30.  Ben, for his part, realized that waking up early, while Zev was still napping with mom, meant uncontested iPad time.  When Ben woke at 5:30 and pointed at our bedroom (and the coveted technology), Alla had it.  She left Zev to snooze downstairs and took indignantly screaming Benjamin back into his room to wait out till 6 am, no iPad in sight.  To paraphrase a green warrior: "began has, the sleep battle."

After several days of staying strong, not letting anyone have any morning fun, and making some painfully won progress, we deployed the secret weapon.  Our secret weapon in this case was much smaller than a planet, yet plenty powerful.  A colleague has informed me of an "OK to wake" light - a programmable toy that lights up at a preset time, informing the little ones that it is now acceptable to scream for mom and dad.  We have indeed procured an owl, programmed it for 6:05 or so and at bed time told the boys that they have to stay asleep as long as the owl does.  To my surprise, Zev has accepted the concept that his life now should be ruled by a glowing piece of plastic surprisingly easily.  The real fun began at 6:05, as the owl lit up.  Zev was already awake but quite, Benjamin woke as well, I imagine waiting for the owl to do something cool.  It just set there, glowing green.  Evidently, Zevi likes green - he too just set there, watching it, transfixed, unblinking.  Benjamin looked around.  Realized, for once, no one was screaming in the room, and went back to sleep with a snort.  Zev spent good ten minutes meditating upon the irony of a non-nocturnal green owl, and went back to sleep as well.  Alla and I looked at the each other, shrugged, and went back to sleep too.  "OK to sleep" light?  We'll take it.

The progress, however, was not permanent.  Zev still wakes 5-15 minutes before 6 and keeping him in his bed - and his mom out of the room - until the owl-wake time is a struggle.  Last night he had an exceptionally rough one, waking up three times between midnight and 6, each time going at it for 15-20 minutes.  As my parents always sum things up - "any night with the two of them is better than one with you."  So, we had a good night.

The other adventure of note involves Benjamin's rabbit.  Last weekend, the first nice weekend of the season, we went to the zoo.  The rabbit was deployed with Benjamin, to provide much needed comfort in case of new people and likely sighting of the zoo train, whose loud whistle is not welcome.  For once, we were organized, took off as scheduled, and hit the zoo parking lot ten minutes before opening time.  To give you an idea: as we parked, I saw roughly fifty empty spots around us.  By the time Alla and I stepped out and got the kids, there were four left and each had a couple of cars aiming for it.  The sudden interest in the zoo was due, in part, to the Easter weekend and the egg hunts being held.  For the uninitiated: sections of the zoo lawn were cordoned off, each for an age group.  Each age-line was roughly 90 minutes long.  At the end of the wait, the kids, in groups of twenty, would spend good ten minutes practicing the low-start sprint while the area was re-seeded with fresh candy eggs.  At the sound of the whistle, a line of screaming kids, to rival charging Scots in 'Braveheart', would run down the patch of grass and collect eggs for about five minutes.  The kids, then docile, would be then ushered out and the process repeated.  Rest assured, should a grown lion or a cute newborn elephant find themselves between the charging kids and the candy, they would end up as much pink fertilizer.  But I digress.  Having spent good two hours marveling at both people and animals, we headed home.  The kids napped in the car, all seemed well.

Arriving home, we realized that Benjamin did not have his bunny in his hands.  Zev was sent to sleep immediately, his blanked safely with him.  Alla held anxious Ben, while I did an quick, unhappy search of the van and stroller - no bunny.  Two minutes later, fleeing Ben's wrath as much as driven by a father's duty, I was in the car, speeding towards the zoo.  As I approached, I realized my error.  It was, by then, 12:30 and access to the zoo lot was blocked by uniformed guards.  After a short search of the surrounding area I accepted my fate and drove to an overflow lot, a highway exit away.  A line of families roughly a half mile long was waiting for the three school buses running the route.  The next 90 minutes were spent waiting for my spot on a bus, surrounded by alternately grim and resigned parents and dangerously bored kids.

I was finally back at the zoo parking lot.  I practically ran to our parking spot and commenced the ground search.  This should be taking literally, as I took to kneeling among the cars and looking for the wayward bunny.  As I was kneeling under yet another van, I heard "click-click-click-click" above my head.  I popped up to come face to face with a family boarding their van.  I quickly explained that I was looking for a lost toy and made myself as lost.  I can only imagine what they thought, seeing a guy apparently crawling under their van.

My next move was to try "lost and found" and failing that - to bluff my way back into the zoo (naturally, I left the ticket stubs at home) and try to take the place at a jog, hoping to spot the creature.  In my head I was rehearsing a story that I was going to feed to Benjamin, something along the lines of the bunny moving to the zoo.  I was also bracing for several very, very long days.  To my surprise, the "lost and found" desk did exist and I was easily given access.  An elderly guard greeted me.  I said:
"I am looking for a grey bunny, looks like hell, missing one ear".  I looked at his desk.  "Quite possibly this one."
As he handed the bunny back to me, the guard said:
"I was going to describe it as 'very well loved'"