Friday, November 8, 2013

language, sneakiness, (lack of normal) sleep

Of recent changes the most significant one is language - the boys are in the middle of a "language explosion".  Two- and three-word sentences are the norm now.  Longer phrases have been reported.  Both of the boys add new words pretty much daily.  While Zev only speaks the words he understands, Benjamin is game to repeat pretty much anything you ask.

A few isolated cases of cooperative play happened.  For example, Zev would hand the puzzle pieces to Benya who would put them in place.  Most of the playing, however, continues to be "one at a time."

Recently we made a rather clumsy attempt to introduce boys to sharing their toys.  At one point Benjamin was already back in possession of his ride-able car-thing, while Zev's was still being ridden by a little girl.  Benjamin rode over and said several times "отдай брату!" - "return to brother!"  Fortunately, violence did not ensue.  Another time Alla had to take Zev to a doctor.  Naturally, Benjamin was not pleased to see her go.  Benya was told that Zev (out of ear shot) was going to receive a shot, which immediately tempered Ben's enthusiasm to go with.  For full disclosure, Zev needed no shots, the doctor saw a callus on his foot and told us to leave it alone.  Later, Alla'a mom, who remained behind with Benya, called Alla to check on things.  Benjamin demanded the phone and declared "брат нет укол!" - "brother no shot".

Benjamin continues to be the little Tasmanian Devil, having two speeds: neutral and full throttle.  While Ben has all the physical ability (can casually hang on a bar and lift legs above his head), he continues to be weary of new places.  Ben is also taciturn around strangers.  In the pool he prefers to be around mom and does not trust the water too much.  Getting Benya to lie back on the water is pretty much impossible.  At home, however, he is confident and independent.  Spending a whole three minutes in someone's lap is rare.  Mostly he checks in and speeds out.  Benya also knows what he wants, and if he does not get it, it is frequently WWIII.  After a time-out, of which he gets the lion's share, Benya usually calms down and can be distracted into a new game.

Zev is both more trusting and more devious.  He is good with strangers, happy to explore new places (preferably with a parent in tow), and loves the water.  When I ask him to blow some bubbles, which he can do perfectly, he tries to bend my head to the water so that I can do it for him.  No matter how upset, best way to comfort Zev is to give him a hug.  Unlike Benjamin, Zev can be persuaded to sleep a while longer, if company of a parent is provided.  We do try to avoid this option, for weakness if the path to despair (more on despair later).  For all of Zev's affection, Zev also knows how to push buttons.  When asked "how much do you love <insert caregiver here>?", he answers "чуть-чуть" - "a little bit" and grins.

The sleeping situation improved briefly - for a period of a few weeks this summer the boys slept 8 pm to very nearly 6 am.  This resulted in a stable routine which even allowed the parents to trade off nights putting boys to bed and semi-regular gym visits.  Then two runny noses were followed by two ear infections and it all went to hell.  Zev did well with the bitter-tasting antibiotic, but lost his sleep pattern, and now wakes up 2-4 times a night to be reassured and/or tucked in.  Ben hated the taste of the stuff, would spit it out (WWIII), and pretty much refused anything pink-ish, even grape-flavored Tylenol.  Not being able to give your child fever/pain medicine was lovely, especially in combination with having to go through Arab-Israeli peace negotiations daily for five days in order to complete the antibiotic course.

The brief ray of hope are Alla's parents, who have bravely taken the boys to sleep at their house one night a week.  The break of being able to pass out at 10:30 and only be woken by an alarm at 8:30 the next day has been magnificent.  I have no idea how long it will take them to give up on the whole thing, but I am going to take it one night at a time and run.

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