A brief update

I think it has been around two days since the last post.  Two nights at least.  The day (or day) have been more or less OK, with more fussing from Zev than usual, but definitely manageable with the four of us here.  The boys continue to sleep well during walks.  The two nights, however, have been significantly worse than normal.  Zev woke up several times, screaming his head off, and would not be placated by being fed or carried around.

The first of the two nights, after some long pacing around in the room (during which he yelled periodically), we gave up and moved Zev downstairs.  This was done to allow Ben some sleep.  The kid has been showing some angelic patience, sleeping though several hours of whining not four feet from him.  When I made yet another attempt to put Zev down in his bed - which produced full on screaming - Ben woke up and yelled himself.  Zev finished the night downstairs, with Alla and my parents taking shifts sleeping on the couch next to him.

The second night we were resolved to make Zev sleep in his bed.  At first, after the 7 pm feeding things seemed to going well.  By "well" I mean that Zev had two bouts of yelling and I was able to keep anyone from going in, and Zev piped down on his own.  Third time (all within an hour and a half) Alla went in, and I was lectured extensively on the how rules of sleep training do not apply to a sick child.  A lovely family discussion followed and the night went downhill from there.  Zev woke up screaming at few times.  Either the first or second of those found me walking with him, and walking quickly out of the room to give the ever-patient Ben a chance to sleep.  After the screaming stopped being continuous - that is to say there we occasional ten second pauses in it - I gave Zev back to mom.  Good timing, too, as I was reaching boiling point.  It was all very impressive, really, as it was only a quarter past eleven.  I remember waking up a handful more times.  One to keep my parents out of the room - on Alla's orders - to let Zev cry it out, as he was merely whining, not yelling full throttle.  A couple of pacifier insertions for Ben.  A couple of times I saw Alla dart out of the room.  I also recall hearing Alla say "I don't know what to do" several times.

All in all, the last two days we have been living inside a contraceptive commercial.

The posting of cute happy pictures will resume soon.

Boston grandparents arrive; a questionable first

On Friday I had a day off.  I was rather looking forward to spending some time with the boys in the day time - as well as to some time away from the boys in the day time, if you know what I mean.  The boys, however, had other plans entirely.  They woke up crankier than usual, at different times, ate poorly, refused to sleep, and generally gave aunt Olga hell.  Zev, the elder brother, took the lead role in this.  By shortly after 11 am it was clear my great plans were doomed.  The boys required both of us to keep them from crying and Zev raised concerns with aunt Olga who though he was coming down with something.  With schedules miraculously again in sync by 1 pm, I seized the opportunity to take them for a walk.  The next two and half hours were downright pleasant.  The moment we left the garage the boys fell asleep and remained so.  I found a bench, parked the stroller, and read my kindle.  The boys even let me drive them right into a coffee shop to get me a latte.  After 4 pm the sun set, the temperature dropped, my bladder complained, and we headed back in.

At home Zev was all smiles for about ten minutes, and then went straight back to the cranky, hold-me-or-I-will-scream self of earlier that day.  Aunt Olga and I held the fort as best we could until mom arrived.  With Zev fed, it was also clear his eyes were read and puffy.  A temperature reading revealed a 38°C fever.  It was official - Zev was the first of the brothers to get sick.  What a way to greet the grandparents.

With Zev drugged up on baby Tylenol, the house was (sort of) in order and I was off to the airport.  There I met my parents and, as casually as possible, informed them of the fever, one (so far) conversation with an on-call physician and what was likely ahead.  My parents kept their cool.  I was immediately treated to a partial (due to finite length of the ride) recounting of my own ills during the first six months of my life.  All was in order.

The night went reasonably crappily, with Zev never quite yelling at full throttle, but being on the verge of it for a while.  By 1:30 I had three almost-trips in the babies' room.  After that Alla told me to rest and I passed out.  I do believe she made some unspecified number (greater than 5) of trips to feed and comfort.

The day brought more fever, more Tylenol, yet two more walks during which both boys slept like little angels.  In Zev's case, very feverish, cranky angels upon waking.  By 6 pm it was clear that the fever was not responding well to the meds and hovering in the vicinity of 39°C.  The on-call doc (call number three) confirmed that we should probably get Zevy seen by someone.  Likely, in order not to have us call him twice-daily for the rest of the weekend.  Grandpa Misha and Ben remained home, while the rest of us piled in a van and set out for the ER.

At the ER things went very smoothly indeed.  With no wait at all Zev was admitted and the fever was confirmed.  An LP and urinary sample via catheter were done.  While those were no picnic, and Zev let us know that, I can only say those have nothing on the whole circumcision experience.  One and a half somewhat nervous, slightly noisy hours later we were told that all tests were clean and we were sent home.  The diagnosis is a viral infection with expectation that fever should break in a day or so.  Until then, we offer food, drugs, comfort, and just ride it out.

At this point Zev is finally asleep.  Alla, as she put it, is not sure whether she more tired or more hungry.  We will plan the shifts of monitor duty, though there not much hope of rest for the provider of the one food Zev loves best.  Once again, we will take things one hour and one feeding at a time.

Happy Holidays!

Second night of first Hanukkah (for the boys)

Last couple of days were a mix - some things going smoother, some less so.  The amount of eating going on at night is still unclear.  I am inclined to let Zev cry it out two nights and be done with it - he did go four days straight with no eating at night was none worse for the wear.  Alla is more inclined to indulge him, since she knows lots of cases when kids eat at night much later than six months.  How "normal" that I do not know.  Only what leads to more sleep.

While I usually post pictures in time sequence, these two should be posted tonight.

12/21/11 after lighting the candles

with mom now

...and one more

Another day

The day that followed the previous night was, as expected, crappy - the boys ate poorly and slept poorly.  by evening we were all bracing for another adventitious night.  Alla's mom, bless her courageous heart, insisted on spending the night against Alla's wishes, in order to take the early morning shift.  The surprise, however, was in how smoothly things went.  The boys slept through most of the night.  Zev was fed around 5, and then they both fell asleep.

Something very unusual happened to me this morning.  I was woken up at 7 am by my alarm clock, while in bed.  Which was a pleasant break from the recent routine.  The boys, actually, slept until 8.  It is now late on Tuesday (OK, early on Wednesday).  So far so good.

12/8/11 Zev

12/16/11 Zev again, happier this time

12/17/2011 Ben at the store

Surprised Ben

Angry Ben

Zev mesmerized by something outside our house.  Same day.

Zev with mom

Zev practicing sitting.

Two steps forward, one step back

Last week Alla went on a business trip.  For a day and a half, one night away from home.  That left me and aunt Olya with the boys for two days, two evenings, and one night in the middle.

The first day went well and the evening went as expected.  The 6 pm feeding went mostly OK - took a bit too long, as Zev was expecting boob and was resisting the bottle for a bit.  The feeding took longer than planed and by the end Ben was very sleepy and rather cranky.  Yet the routine was followed: reading, changing, singing - even if singing was accompanied by a crying Ben.  To beds they went and after a few minutes all was quiet for a while.

And quiet it remained until about 3:45 am.  Ben piped up, received the pacifier, and was asleep in two seconds - as planned, this time.  The next noise came from Zev, definitively, at 5:45.  Shrotly, Ben was up too and it was clear they were over the sleeping thing for the night.  The boys were changed and fed, and were playing downstairs under Shawna's supervision.  Off I went to bed to get my last half hour of sleep.

That night Alla returned and routine resumed.  The remarkable thing was - for once, no one ate from 7 pm to 6 am.  The same happened the following night and I became cautiously optimistic that the night feeding was done with.  Don't get me wrong, there was still getting up to do, and playing with / feeding around 6 am, but still - no feeding from 7 pm to 6 am was something.  I started thinking of visiting the gym again.

The "good life" lasted for two more days.  Last night Zev cried around 10:30 pm and in rushed Alla, to comfort him.  Which prompted Zev to cry harder and Alla to feed him.  I came in, hissing that feeding Zev was the wrong move, as was picking him up.  Alla relented, and the only-partly-fed Zev went back to bed.  Now, he was furious - the boob was given, then taken away.  Zev yelled indignantly and woke up Ben, who yelled about being woken up.  Alla wanted to rush back in, but I barked that she has done rather enough for one night; I patted each screaming baby on the head, and settled in the office, listening to the yelling.  Alla was crying while listening to the same duet in the bedroom.  About 7 minutes later both performers were asleep.  Naturally, at 3 am Zev woke up and was fed again.  The monitor remained on, so was treated to the pre-feeding yelling in full.  I walked into the room, hissed some more about the intelligence of feeding Zev twice in one night and setting us back in sleep training, and went back to bed.  I remember being woken up at least one more time after that.  Then it was 6:15, crying was coming from the monitor, and it was my turn to take care of the babies, so Alla could sleep in peace a little.

By 6:20 I was entering the babies' room.  With a headache, in a foul mood, pissed at myself for being in this situation and at Alla for setting us back from four straight nights of no night feeding.  The changing-playing-feeding Ben routine followed.  Some time after 7 aunt Olya arrived to take over the duties and Alla came down to feed Zev.  I went to clean up, computing work lateness with and without an assembled sandwich.  Just as I was leaving, I did one more thing to share my Monday morning cheer.  I freely shared with Alla that, on balance, I indeed A*B*S*O*L*U*T*E*L*Y L*O*V*E my life, every single day of it.

With this, here are some more cute pictures of babies.  Welcome to the Kaplan House.  

12/6/11 Zev catching a ride upstairs

12/6/11 sort of sitting on the couch

Ben, right after a walk

Ben practicing standing

pics from December 4th

Ben

This thing does what?

what, another interview?

OK, I'll smile.

Look, ma!  I found my foot!

more pictures from December 3rd

Happy Zev

Two surprised boys

And who are you?

Chill Zev

6 months

The boys are 6 months now.  The half year has gone by pretty fast.  Memorable, miserable, yet much better than it could have been.  Ben has met his half-year mark with a rather rough night (likely - teeth).  This evening he took some time falling asleep at 7 as well.  He was not amused, and not shy letting us know about it.  He does continue to eat and quiets pretty quickly if picked up.  The 10:30 feeding went well, with minimum fussing, and we hope for a better night.

In other news, mom has gone a bit nuts with a new camera.  All following pictures were taken on December 3rd.

Zev with Great-grandma

Ben with the signature anime eyes

Ben with Great-grandma

Zev with new technology

...and this is a good day

approaching 6 months

Thanksgiving came and went in a blur.  Parents came for a visit and after three days, much too soon, were gone. Can't wait to see you guys in December!  With my parents' visit, however, started the exposure to music.  The keyboard my father played for the boys stands in the corner now like a silent reminder of Alla's and mine lack of musical talent.  We do occasionally use the keyboard to play one of the stored melodies.

The boys continue to grow, get small amounts of solid food, and sleep a bit better after it.  Not much else beyond that.

November 28th.  Ben trying soup for the first time in New Seasons supermarket

This is food?  It can taste like this?? More!!!

December 1st. Very serious Zev resting

sleep training, night feeding, and (sorta) surviving

Well, the purely "falling asleep" part of it appears to have gone well - when placed into their cribs, the boys may complain for a few minutes, but mostly they fall asleep.  With or without a pacifier, right away on after talking to themselves - they mostly make no fuss.  Does this translate into better nights for parents?  Not necessarily.  Zev still wakes up at 3-4am and demands boob.  Or at least some food.  If not - he makes it to 5:30, wakes up, and then stays in his bed, awake, not necessarily crying - but talking loud enough to wake up his brother.  At which point the whole sleeping thing is over for whoever is on duty.

Speaking of food.  Recently the boys were offered a few samples of "solid" food - as much as pulverized fruit can be called solid.  Whatever.  Interestingly, Ben loved it, while Zev was lukewarm to it - this one knows exactly what he wants.  A good thing, too, since, as I was told, Ben would scream in rage any time a bit of this new delicious thing was wasted on his brother who did not appreciate it...

In recent weeks my time with the boys have been limited - what with the full time job and teaching preparation on weekends.  Alla takes the brunt of the care, while my duty is the 11pm feeding.  During the weekends I also help out at night and then prepare for my lecture, more or less bleary-eyed and coffee-soaked.  As you can imagine, it does tremendous favors to my analytical abilities and disposition.  I have been "lucky" - recently I got to draw some of the more interesting nights.  The time change, for example, has taken the boys well over a week to adjust to.  During that time we were treated to several pre-6am wake up yells.  Last weekend, between the shortened sleep, the lecture prep, and coffee withdrawal, I got as far as to pack a bag for a weekend somewhere else.  Anywhere else.  Only the realization that there was no one else to cover the night with Alla kept me at home.  Barely.

Just last night I had the distinct pleasure of having Zev scream into my ear for twenty minutes non-stop.  He was not in pain, poopy, sleepy, or hungry (I *was* trying to feed him).  Just felt like it.  He won, in a way - Alla woke up and comforted Zev in his favorite way, which allowed us to switch him to a bottle and finish feeding him.  Only for Alla to wake up again in a few hours, and for me have another several minutes of pure blazing white fury.  It took all of my self control not make a hole in a wall.  Where is my punching bag now, when I need it most?  How ironic.  Tonight I fed Ben with Alla's mom.  Alla herself was well asleep by the time I got home.  Zev was in a good mood this time and ate in Rita's arms like a little angel.  The screaming banshee of the night before was gone...but not for long - the role was taken up by Ben.  As I was saying to myself "son of a bitch, two for two?!", Ben (who usually eats 5-6 ounces with minimum fuss) proceeded to scream any time a bottle went anywhere near him.  If I held him up so he could look at the lights - Ben was OK.  If I offered food - the sirens came on.  Before Ben switched to a monotone yelling, he actually tried to communicate via various sounds in his crying.  Rita thought he was complaining to dad.  Sounded like telling off in 'baby' to me...  After about ten minutes of this I said some words in Russian I am mot proud of and plunked Ben into bed.  He took a pacifier and quieted down immediately.  Alla, freshly woken up, then told me that he had some cereal earlier and was probably just not hungry...

What can I say - Alla could have left a note, I should have woken her up anyway to pump - the whole communication thing still eludes us most of the time.  I honestly don't know how Alla does this.  I get a small portion, and between the rage and the reduced IQ the next day I hardly function - or do so through abundant coffee only to withdraw over the weekend with nausea, migraine, and extra-charming personality.  Alla, on the other hand, covers almost all night wake-ups, and then goes to work.  In the evenings, amazingly, she has enough in her to have kind words for her husband.

another picture and a few thoughts

Dad and Ben in blue, Nov 20th

The boys continue to show divergent interests, if not personalities.  Ben is mostly "left-brained" - less fussy about food or falling asleep, he is all about new information.  If held in front of a painting, Ben can stare at it for minutes, his open-mouthed attention never wavering.  Ben rarely misses a chance to stay awake outside, recording everything.  During the recent trip to the Children's museum, I was told, Ben could not get enough of the new impressions.  Zev, on the other hand, is all about experience of the senses - "right-brained".  He likes his boob, he likes physical closeness more than his brother.  While he is more prone to sleep during outings, Zev truly enjoys the newly discovered form of indoor entertainments: being tossed up by dad.  Airborne Zev had an awesome time, while Ben was a lot more skeptical about the whole experience.  Zev cries more often, Ben rarely, but when he does - boy, do the neighbors know...

November pictures

Ben sleeps, ever serious.  And yes, the big brother is *always* watching.  Nov 14th  

Zev sleeps and dreams of something wonderful.  I suspect it smells of milk and has a nipple attached to it.  Same night.

Even fully deprived of privacy, Ben keeps his spirits up.  No pasaran!

Great-grandma Lena with Ben.  Nov 15th

... and now with Zev

another log awaited update

Ben watches TV

Me and Zev face to face, Nov 6th 2011

Zev the flower child

Zev laughing Nov 10th

Serious Ben is looking very grown up Nov 10th

Same day, reading time

For their five month birthday the boys received gifts from the family, including awesome balloons from the Boston grandparents.  Mom got lots of flowers.  But from their parents the boys received a very special gift - the parents left them for a night, for the first time.  We escaped to a nearby resort for both mental and physical recuperation, while three generations of Mann/Men/Baldetskaya women took care of the boys.  The boys, I suspect, were a lot less anxious about the whole thing than anyone else.

Having our day of freedom, Alla and I arrived at the resort to be treated to a bottle of champagne (thank you - you know who you are!) plus whatever goodies we brought with us.  But better still - a hot tub in our room. A drink and a lunch later we headed to our respective procedures (facial for Alla, soak for me).  We got back to the room, ate some, drank some, hot-tub-ed some, lounged some more.  And were asleep by 10:30 pm like a pair of old kakers.

With the time change, we were up by 6:30.  I talked Alla out of calling the house immediately.  We read some more, but by 7:30 Alla would no longer be contained.  In short sequence, Alla's mom and sister reported that the night went just fine up until the point when two idiots woke them up at 7:30 on a Sunday.  We went for breakfast.

sleep training, round 1

After much deliberation and a couple of rough nights, it was decided that it is time for sleep training.  The trial went reasonably well - Zev cried for 5 minutes, then for 10, then fell asleep without a sound.  The biggest victim was Mom, who chewed on her nails non-stop.

The next night we braced ourselves, prepared, and decided to do it proper.  Mom started us well, having managed to let Zev cry for a few minutes after the 6:30 meal.  I do believe she even has some nails left.

For the actual training Mom was banished over to Vika's house for what I was hoping (in vain) would be a decent night's sleep.  Equipped with instructions, several texts from Mom, and a repeated promise to kill me if I hurt the children, I settled in for the night.  Our friend and sitter Shawna came over to help and promised to stick with the program, also contrary to her nature.

The evening started with Zev waking up at 22:55 and demanding his meal loudly.  It took a few minutes to get organized (plastic ware was in the kitchen), which improved Zev disposition not one bit.  Per instructions, both boys had their diapers changed before the meal, which clearly did not help matters either.  In an attempt to provide speedier service I offered room temperature formula, which was rejected by both customers, leading to yet another bout of complaining about the service.  Clearly, I was not getting a tip.  To make matters worse, it took me a bit to realize that the plastic ware was not washed.  The night started rather ominously.
Finally, 8 wasted ounces of formula and minutes later, the food was offered in an acceptable way.  The boys ate.  Ben, in his usual fashion, went straight to sleep.  Zev complained about being put into the bed, and we were off.
Strictly per instructions, I comforted Zev and left.  The timer was set for 5 minutes and I settled in to wait.  To my surprise, in two minutes Zev was asleep.  And that, pretty much was the story for the night.  Ben slept straight through.  Zev woke at 3:30, ate some formula, cried for two more minutes and went to sleep again.  The story repeated around 6am, which was getting close to the actual wake up time.  By 6:15 mom (who hardly slept) was back and I was off to work.

Right now Alla is asleep.  Rita (Alla's mom) and I are getting ready to feed.  Everyone is pumped (OK, let me rephrase - we are all less anxious that we should be) for the second night of sleep training.  I really hope it goes as well as last night.  Because if it doesn't - well, I hope it does...

more October pictures

excited about a trip  10/15/11

Zev is happy to be going too 10/15/11

Zev practicing sitting (with some assistance) 10/17/11

Ben on a walk 10/26/11

October pics

Side by side, in the jungle.  10/3/11

Ben, ready for a walk.  10/6/11

Zev is ready too, in his own fashion.  10/6/11

Standing by for Bjorn load... 10/6/11

... and upclose

Ben loaded

Zev asleep, at his favorite place...