night after the big day

This post, gentle reader, shall be a little more graphic still.  Therefore, if you have no interest in reading about the joys of caring for a circumcision site (or two), you might want to skip this.

The night started very smoothly, with the boys still riding the high of the post-surgery tylenol, added to the anesthetic and the wine.  With some trepidation we waited for the effects to wear off.

As the hours wore on, the boys fussed perhaps a bit more, but in general did not show much discomfort.  Finally, it was time to feed them, which included changing the diaper.  At diaper removal we were treated to the site of a newly circumcised penis (pictures available on line, I am sure).  It looked scary enough, still partly swollen from the anesthetic (of which we were warned).  There was no delaying it any further, we had to provide site care.  The aforementioned care consists of two parts, per received instructions:
1. Pull on the remaining skin gently toward the body to avoid adhesion of skin to head of penis.  Mercifully, we were instructed to skip this step the first time.  Wise decision, as doing that required some courage.
2. Applying enough Vaseline to cover the head and the surgery site completely, to avoid adhesion to the diaper.

We decided to start with Benny, his extra-calm resulting in him being volunteered to be the test subject.  We stilled our nerves and went after step 2.  Have you ever tried to fashion a condom out of Vaseline?  Have you ever tried to fashion anything out of Vaseline?  Mom and I, jaws clenched, determination on our foreheads and sweat down my back (we assume mom remained cool under pressure), went at it.  I held the legs, mom sculpted.  Several tense minutes and two teaspoons of Vaseline later, we had something that looked OK.  We applied the diaper, at which point Benny moved, and the fruits of our sticky labors were all over the diaper.  We made another sculpture, closed the diaper, and resolved not to look.  As Benny fed, we proceeded to Zev, who pleasantly surprised us by making no noise at all, as long as his core was covered.  In fact, here credit goes to my parents for coming up with the procedure for changing diapers and clothing: keep something over whatever part of baby is not being worked on, especially chest and belly, and they will be OK with it.  The boys certainly seem to agree.

The first post-op feeding was done.  Mom agreed to help with the sculpting job for the midnight, Alla-and-I-only, feeding as we all took a break.

The second time around it became only more evident that the main outcome was an effective transfer of Vaseline onto diaper, via pee-pee.  At that point I had a rare moment of engineering inspiration.  Instead of trying to sculpt out of Vaseline, I decided to cover the entire front of diaper, thus preventing sticking.  A diaper can be Vaselined in advance, with the only "on-baby" part remaining is creating a thin coat of Vaseline around the penis head with a cotton swab to prevent adhesion of head to skin of the belly, unlikely as that maybe.  The procedure works like a charm.  Patent may be pending, but anyone reading this is welcome to the procedure as payment for reading these self-serving ramblings.  The only downside of the process is that a diaper coated with Vaseline looses a lot of their absorbing properties, resulting in dramatically more wetting of outfits and swaddling blankets.  We figured that to be a small price to pay for not having to play Michelangelo with Vaseline sixteen times a day.  We have used the procedure every feeding/changing for nearly 24 hours now, and intend to continue.  Even though we are periodically amazed how someone so small can wet through a (reduced capacity) diaper, shirt, outfit, two swaddling blankets, and onto the mattress sheet.

Step 1 of surgery site care requires a bit of courage to perform the first time, but the tiny movement, or my best interpretation of it, does eventually get done with no site of blood, no extra-protestation from the boys, no light-headedness for me, and, quite likely, with no effect whatsoever.

The boys do continue to learn.  They recently discovered the "two step pee" technique, of which we were warned at the hospital.  Also known as 'delayed peeing'.  Goes as follows: they let us change them patiently, and as we are almost done putting on a new diaper, they let out a terrific stream, getting the shirt, the outfit, one of us, and some of the surrounding area.

The hilarity truly reached a peak for Alla and I somewhere between 2 and 4 am last night.  We were awake, but our mental state was, well, as expected.  Picture this, my patient reader:
A darkened room.  Few sounds from outside, plus our whispered voices.  Zev sleeps peacefully in the crib, while Benjamin quietly fusses while being changed.  The light is provided by a bright LED light, pointed up, so it reflects nicely off the wall down on the changing area, while letting Zev sleep mostly undisturbed.

The new diaper is Vaselined and staged.  While I turn to dry my hands, Alla says: "Oh, this looks very wet!"  And the diaper flies into the 'Diaper Champ' (ingenious odor-containment device for diaper disposal. Thank you, S and R!).  Diaper two is prepared.  As I am finishing the job, I notice that the diaper looked a bit weird all along.  Mostly because I was applying Vaseline to the wrong end of the diaper.  Diaper two follows diaper one.  Diaper three is prepared, correctly this time.  As I am about to slide it under Ben Vaseline-first, Alla stops me: "Vaseline goes on the pee-pee, honey."  As we quietly remark on challenges of applying diapers, Ben produces a golden stream that arks good 15 inches up, over his head, somewhere into the darkness, beyond the cone of pale light.  The old diaper is long gone.  I have nothing in my hands to stop the stream with.  Two dozen or so blankets on the shelf below the baby may as well have been located on the Moon.  We stare at the perfect golden parabola and just giggle.  After about seven seconds of stupor, I stop the stream with my hands, still giggling, and try to contain the damage to the immediate disaster area.

Shortly after the babies are cleaned,Vaselined, fed, and sleeping; a few wet things are replaced and we head off to bed, me still smirking periodically at the two of us, just standing there and watching Ben demonstrate perfect parabolic motion in Earth's gravitational field.

big day for the boys

Yesterday was a very big day for the boys.  They had three important appointments.

The first was with a post-pardum center, where the boys and mommy got checked out and all got high marks.  Over three days at home each of the boys gained around two ounces.  They continue to eat and sleep well.  Their calm demeanors continued to impress the staff.  Mommy is healing well and is doing a great job feeding the boys.  Grandparents asked lots of question and all of us got complemented on handling the twin situation.

Next was the first time the boys met their pediatrician and her staff.  Again, all went very well, and the third appointment of the day was given the green light.

The final appointment was of the more religious nature, with a very nice MD who is also a mohel (someone who performs circumcisions).  The ceremony was small (but not quiet) and involved family and one couple who are very observant.

For each boy there are two great honors: to hold him down while the circumcision is being done and to offer a drop of wine on his lips.  To those who have an urge to turn me in right now to Child Services I say: the wine was a drop off a finger, given for religious reasons, and does not constitute offering alcohol to a minor.  Also, their first wine being Manishevitz, it probably served to reduce probability the boys will ever like alcohol.  The honors were offered to the grandfathers, who rather declined, being a bit short on hutzpah when it comes to cutting bits off their grandchildren.  I did not see Alla's dad, but mine conquered his anxiety by watching over the procedure and managing not to clobber the mohel.  Hutzpah in general being in somewhat short supply that day, Misha (Victoria's husband and my long time friend) reluctantly accepted the honor (i.e. was bullied into doing it), mainly because Alla and I held Rafi and Misha felt obliged to reciprocate.  Benjamin was held by Rebecca and Joseph, our dear friends who a) actualyl know the rules and prayers and b) have a valid right to look at us and laugh, because they have four wonderful children, three of whom arrived at the same time.  But that is a subject for another blog.

From now, my gentle reader, things get a bit more ... descriptive, so if you are of a particularly delicate nature, please avert your gaze from the text.  The images will be kept mild.

The procedure begins by administering local anesthetic in private.  Now, normally words "local anesthetic" do not conjure up anything particularly bad.  But do consider the locale.  Four shots (very small needle), exactly where you think.  After that everything else is gravy.  As the boys received their shots I was alone with the mohel and my personal achievement for the day was holding their legs and not passing out.  Yes, I am that tough.

First up was Zev.  As always, he disapproved of being undressed.  I do choose to believe that his crying throughout the ceremony was due to that, and not due to being in constant agony in spite of pain killers and sweet wine on his lips.

Here is Zev on the 'chair of Ellijah', the beautiful tallit (prayer shawl) given by aunty Victoria.  Poor guy has no idea what is coming next...

Misha and Vika performed admirably: Misha held Zev and Vika administered the wine.  They both did great. Pale, but conscious, Misha said to his wife: "Vika, we are taking this baby on vacation wherever he wants to go!"

Then the boy's official naming (Zev be Daniel ben Aliyah) took place and everyone yelled 'Mazal Tov!'

And then we did it all again for Benjamin.
Benjamin, true to form, made hardly a sound.  He complained at the first shot and at having his legs restrained, but after that he rode that ride without a whimper.

Here he is on the chair, the tallit again given to him by aunt Victoria.

Ben, being held by Joseph while Rebecca offers him his first proper drink.  Foreskin for a drop of Manishavitz?  A questionable bargain, if you ask me.  Through in the attention, however, and just maybe...

Ben being introduced as "Benyamin ben Daniel ben Aliyah", while dad receives much needed anesthetic of his own.

The ceremony was followed by a bit of eating and drinking.  Final analysis: a mohel who is a cut above the rest, two proper new Jews, zero events of passing out.  Awesome!