the lost and found post

This entry was written originally on the boys’ birthday but somehow was not saved. Here is a reconstructed version.

So, it has been two years. I think today some sort of summary is expected. Here it is: we made it. Everyone (kids, parents, grandparents, relatives) is alive and relatively healthy, thank G-D. I have to tell you that I have no profound thoughts on the matter of the last two years. The non-profound ones I will keep to myself. Just the facts, then. Over the last two years I think I have been a decent father and even an OK partner in raising children. Not without a price, however. During the same two years I have been a crummy husband, a less then attentive son (in law as well), and a largely non-existent friend. As a family, the boys, Alla, and I have taken a lot from those around us and are very grateful to those who have been willing to give, or just put up with our absences. I hope things get better.

Why the introspection, you ask? Why thoughts of how things are for the adults? Why not just cute pictures and stories about the boys?  Tough. The blog is about raising twins and the effect this has on everyone around them is part of the experience. As any parent will tell you, it is not all unicorns shitting rainbows. More on the shitting later.

Recent news. The most significant was a visit from the Boston grandparents. Due to the regular Skype sessions, the time it took the boys to recognize Grandma Lina and Grandpa Misha was in the seconds. The boys enjoyed the visit tremendously. Both of the boys loved Grandpa Misha’s playing on the keyboard, though it was Zevi who on one occasion came over to my dad and ‘asked’ him to come and play. Both of the boys enjoyed the dramatic improvement of the quality of the nightly singing, complements mostly of Grandma Lina. Most of all, I imagine, they enjoyed two people who were willing to play with them with good humor and endless patience from earliest morning till bed time. Needless to say, Alla and I enjoyed being spoiled rotten by having someone take the kids every morning. We can’t wait to see you in July! And not just for the selfish reasons.

During my parents’ stay with us the boys visited the zoo and enjoyed a lot more of it than last year. Since we are now proud members of the zoo, the visits are a regular activity. The train still poses a challenge for Benya, but recently he was OK standing by the tracks and even waved at Zevi and I as we rode back into the station.

Changes in the boys.
While the boys do not speak that many words, they do recognize quite a few – when it suits them. Aunt Olga recently taught them to identify each other as “brat” (‘brother’), which they sometimes do upon request. In advance of the coming birthday the boys were taught to answer ‘how old are you?’ by lifting two index fingers and shouting “dva”! The disclaimer states that result of exactly two fingers and a clearly stated “dva” is not typical. Actual number of displayed fingers may vary.

The boys enjoy playing in the nearby fountain, occasionally drinking from it. We do try to stop them and when we are not successful we tell ourselves that this is good for their immune systems. So far, t’fu-t’fu, the only victim of this has been yours truly. One day, following a drink, no doubt, Zevi had the runs. The diapers full of liquid did not seem to bother him in the slightest, the cleaning just had to be more extensive. On a particularly memorable occasion I smelled something suspicious and pulled back on Zevi’s diaper to take a peek. To my surprise, I touched liquid. As I peered in, Zevi passed gas. Droplets flew. Thankfully, Zevi did not produce much pressure and only very small droplets. Thankfully, my mouth was closed.

Another episode deserves a telling (sorry, mom).  During my parents' visit mom made a wonderful soup for the boys and they, naturally, refused to eat it.  A day of unsuccessful attempts later, we found ourselves in the van, driving back from the zoo, I think.  Benya was answering questions about his zoo impressions.
"Did you like the elephants?"
"Yes!"
"Did you like the giraffes?"
"Yes!"
A couple of enthusiastic "yes's" later I grew suspicious.
"Benya, do you say 'yes' to everything?"
"Yes!" replied Benjamin, "Yes, yes, yes!"
My mom gave me a dirty look.
"Benechka, are you going to eat my soup?"
"NO!" said Ben and shook his head.
In the end - their loss.  More for us.  The soup was gone in the afternoon.

Both of the boys have iPads now and enjoy them tremendously. Since Benjamin won his (thank you Yana and Kirill for the raffle and for the sense of humor about the results!), we have bought another one, and the boys indeed have designated devices. Encased in military-grade (no kidding) cases. I suppose some part of me feels bad about giving each two year old an iPad, but guess what – I can get 15 minutes of peace pretty much any time at will, so I will take it, thank you very much. The boys rock puzzles (mostly Benya), drawing (mostly Zevi), songs and pictures that when touched make noises and say the word in English and Russian (both).

The boys now brush teeth - rather, play with water and watch mom and dad brush teeth which chewing on their brushes - enthusiastically and scream bloody murder if you try not to give them some toothpaste.

Zevi has learned to recognize the moon everywhere and loves pointing it out and saying “luna!” He has also learned “oblaka” for clouds and points them out as well. He, allegedly, on his own started says that the rocket (raised hand and engine sounds) flies to the clouds and the moon. Of the two boys Zev is more affectionate and is often content to just sit on someone’s lap. He is much more likely to give unsolicited hugs and kisses. Still the more easygoing (most of the time), he gets less upset about not getting the toy he wants. However, once he gets his hands on a toy – go ahead and try to pry it from his kung-fu grip. If asked, sometimes he may share, but mostly what is Zev grabs, Zev keeps.

Benjamin rarely sits still. He will come over, check the presence of a friendly lap, and be right off, exploring. If asked for a kiss, he will mostly offer his cheek, though lately he learned proper kissing from his brother. Benya displays substantially more empathy – sharing toys and willing to comfort his brother if he is upset.

But please, don’t think it is all fun and gentle games. The boys continue to push boundaries, be it batting at the hanging pictures at their room (which they’ve known for a year are off limits) or swatting at the computer during a Skype session. When they see me bringing over a laptop, they will waive their finger and say “no-no-no” and shake their heads – they are not allowed to touch. However, five minutes in Benya rushes in for the kill, aiming to swat at the keys or stomp on them. That gets him caught and pushed away (awesome!) and eventually into the corner (bummer…). Zev, observing this, reaches out with the tip of his finger and touches the very corner of the laptop; then looks at me to see of retribution will follow. Given Benjamin’s strong sense of fairness, I teach Zev that “touch” really means “make corporeal contact, regardless of force exerted” and off to the corner he goes. Skype session over.

The birthday was a fun day for the boys with the first gifts arriving (thank you Aunt Olga and Aunt Shawna and Grandma Rita and Grandpa Tolya!) The evening brought cupcakes (thank you again Aunt Shawna, you are awesome!), complete with two candles each. The Skype session with Boston grandparents and live, trans-continental singing of birthday songs and blowing out of candles, followed by eating cupcakes and bouncing off the walls (more so than usual).

So it goes, one grumpy early morning at a time, one long and exhausting day at a time, and one loud evening at a time.