Well, the purely "falling asleep" part of it appears to have gone well - when placed into their cribs, the boys may complain for a few minutes, but mostly they fall asleep. With or without a pacifier, right away on after talking to themselves - they mostly make no fuss. Does this translate into better nights for parents? Not necessarily. Zev still wakes up at 3-4am and demands boob. Or at least some food. If not - he makes it to 5:30, wakes up, and then stays in his bed, awake, not necessarily crying - but talking loud enough to wake up his brother. At which point the whole sleeping thing is over for whoever is on duty.
Speaking of food. Recently the boys were offered a few samples of "solid" food - as much as pulverized fruit can be called solid. Whatever. Interestingly, Ben loved it, while Zev was lukewarm to it - this one knows exactly what he wants. A good thing, too, since, as I was told, Ben would scream in rage any time a bit of this new delicious thing was wasted on his brother who did not appreciate it...
In recent weeks my time with the boys have been limited - what with the full time job and teaching preparation on weekends. Alla takes the brunt of the care, while my duty is the 11pm feeding. During the weekends I also help out at night and then prepare for my lecture, more or less bleary-eyed and coffee-soaked. As you can imagine, it does tremendous favors to my analytical abilities and disposition. I have been "lucky" - recently I got to draw some of the more interesting nights. The time change, for example, has taken the boys well over a week to adjust to. During that time we were treated to several pre-6am wake up yells. Last weekend, between the shortened sleep, the lecture prep, and coffee withdrawal, I got as far as to pack a bag for a weekend somewhere else. Anywhere else. Only the realization that there was no one else to cover the night with Alla kept me at home. Barely.
Just last night I had the distinct pleasure of having Zev scream into my ear for twenty minutes non-stop. He was not in pain, poopy, sleepy, or hungry (I *was* trying to feed him). Just felt like it. He won, in a way - Alla woke up and comforted Zev in his favorite way, which allowed us to switch him to a bottle and finish feeding him. Only for Alla to wake up again in a few hours, and for me have another several minutes of pure blazing white fury. It took all of my self control not make a hole in a wall. Where is my punching bag now, when I need it most? How ironic. Tonight I fed Ben with Alla's mom. Alla herself was well asleep by the time I got home. Zev was in a good mood this time and ate in Rita's arms like a little angel. The screaming banshee of the night before was gone...but not for long - the role was taken up by Ben. As I was saying to myself "son of a bitch, two for two?!", Ben (who usually eats 5-6 ounces with minimum fuss) proceeded to scream any time a bottle went anywhere near him. If I held him up so he could look at the lights - Ben was OK. If I offered food - the sirens came on. Before Ben switched to a monotone yelling, he actually tried to communicate via various sounds in his crying. Rita thought he was complaining to dad. Sounded like telling off in 'baby' to me... After about ten minutes of this I said some words in Russian I am mot proud of and plunked Ben into bed. He took a pacifier and quieted down immediately. Alla, freshly woken up, then told me that he had some cereal earlier and was probably just not hungry...
What can I say - Alla could have left a note, I should have woken her up anyway to pump - the whole communication thing still eludes us most of the time. I honestly don't know how Alla does this. I get a small portion, and between the rage and the reduced IQ the next day I hardly function - or do so through abundant coffee only to withdraw over the weekend with nausea, migraine, and extra-charming personality. Alla, on the other hand, covers almost all night wake-ups, and then goes to work. In the evenings, amazingly, she has enough in her to have kind words for her husband.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
another picture and a few thoughts
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| Dad and Ben in blue, Nov 20th |
The boys continue to show divergent interests, if not personalities. Ben is mostly "left-brained" - less fussy about food or falling asleep, he is all about new information. If held in front of a painting, Ben can stare at it for minutes, his open-mouthed attention never wavering. Ben rarely misses a chance to stay awake outside, recording everything. During the recent trip to the Children's museum, I was told, Ben could not get enough of the new impressions. Zev, on the other hand, is all about experience of the senses - "right-brained". He likes his boob, he likes physical closeness more than his brother. While he is more prone to sleep during outings, Zev truly enjoys the newly discovered form of indoor entertainments: being tossed up by dad. Airborne Zev had an awesome time, while Ben was a lot more skeptical about the whole experience. Zev cries more often, Ben rarely, but when he does - boy, do the neighbors know...
November pictures
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| Ben sleeps, ever serious. And yes, the big brother is *always* watching. Nov 14th |
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| Zev sleeps and dreams of something wonderful. I suspect it smells of milk and has a nipple attached to it. Same night. |
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| Even fully deprived of privacy, Ben keeps his spirits up. No pasaran! |
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| Great-grandma Lena with Ben. Nov 15th |
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| ... and now with Zev |
another log awaited update
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| Ben watches TV |
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| Me and Zev face to face, Nov 6th 2011 |
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| Zev the flower child |
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| Zev laughing Nov 10th |
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| Serious Ben is looking very grown up Nov 10th |
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| Same day, reading time |
For their five month birthday the boys received gifts from the family, including awesome balloons from the Boston grandparents. Mom got lots of flowers. But from their parents the boys received a very special gift - the parents left them for a night, for the first time. We escaped to a nearby resort for both mental and physical recuperation, while three generations of Mann/Men/Baldetskaya women took care of the boys. The boys, I suspect, were a lot less anxious about the whole thing than anyone else.
Having our day of freedom, Alla and I arrived at the resort to be treated to a bottle of champagne (thank you - you know who you are!) plus whatever goodies we brought with us. But better still - a hot tub in our room. A drink and a lunch later we headed to our respective procedures (facial for Alla, soak for me). We got back to the room, ate some, drank some, hot-tub-ed some, lounged some more. And were asleep by 10:30 pm like a pair of old kakers.
With the time change, we were up by 6:30. I talked Alla out of calling the house immediately. We read some more, but by 7:30 Alla would no longer be contained. In short sequence, Alla's mom and sister reported that the night went just fine up until the point when two idiots woke them up at 7:30 on a Sunday. We went for breakfast.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
sleep training, round 1
After much deliberation and a couple of rough nights, it was decided that it is time for sleep training. The trial went reasonably well - Zev cried for 5 minutes, then for 10, then fell asleep without a sound. The biggest victim was Mom, who chewed on her nails non-stop.
The next night we braced ourselves, prepared, and decided to do it proper. Mom started us well, having managed to let Zev cry for a few minutes after the 6:30 meal. I do believe she even has some nails left.
For the actual training Mom was banished over to Vika's house for what I was hoping (in vain) would be a decent night's sleep. Equipped with instructions, several texts from Mom, and a repeated promise to kill me if I hurt the children, I settled in for the night. Our friend and sitter Shawna came over to help and promised to stick with the program, also contrary to her nature.
The evening started with Zev waking up at 22:55 and demanding his meal loudly. It took a few minutes to get organized (plastic ware was in the kitchen), which improved Zev disposition not one bit. Per instructions, both boys had their diapers changed before the meal, which clearly did not help matters either. In an attempt to provide speedier service I offered room temperature formula, which was rejected by both customers, leading to yet another bout of complaining about the service. Clearly, I was not getting a tip. To make matters worse, it took me a bit to realize that the plastic ware was not washed. The night started rather ominously.
Finally, 8 wasted ounces of formula and minutes later, the food was offered in an acceptable way. The boys ate. Ben, in his usual fashion, went straight to sleep. Zev complained about being put into the bed, and we were off.
Strictly per instructions, I comforted Zev and left. The timer was set for 5 minutes and I settled in to wait. To my surprise, in two minutes Zev was asleep. And that, pretty much was the story for the night. Ben slept straight through. Zev woke at 3:30, ate some formula, cried for two more minutes and went to sleep again. The story repeated around 6am, which was getting close to the actual wake up time. By 6:15 mom (who hardly slept) was back and I was off to work.
Right now Alla is asleep. Rita (Alla's mom) and I are getting ready to feed. Everyone is pumped (OK, let me rephrase - we are all less anxious that we should be) for the second night of sleep training. I really hope it goes as well as last night. Because if it doesn't - well, I hope it does...
The next night we braced ourselves, prepared, and decided to do it proper. Mom started us well, having managed to let Zev cry for a few minutes after the 6:30 meal. I do believe she even has some nails left.
For the actual training Mom was banished over to Vika's house for what I was hoping (in vain) would be a decent night's sleep. Equipped with instructions, several texts from Mom, and a repeated promise to kill me if I hurt the children, I settled in for the night. Our friend and sitter Shawna came over to help and promised to stick with the program, also contrary to her nature.
The evening started with Zev waking up at 22:55 and demanding his meal loudly. It took a few minutes to get organized (plastic ware was in the kitchen), which improved Zev disposition not one bit. Per instructions, both boys had their diapers changed before the meal, which clearly did not help matters either. In an attempt to provide speedier service I offered room temperature formula, which was rejected by both customers, leading to yet another bout of complaining about the service. Clearly, I was not getting a tip. To make matters worse, it took me a bit to realize that the plastic ware was not washed. The night started rather ominously.
Finally, 8 wasted ounces of formula and minutes later, the food was offered in an acceptable way. The boys ate. Ben, in his usual fashion, went straight to sleep. Zev complained about being put into the bed, and we were off.
Strictly per instructions, I comforted Zev and left. The timer was set for 5 minutes and I settled in to wait. To my surprise, in two minutes Zev was asleep. And that, pretty much was the story for the night. Ben slept straight through. Zev woke at 3:30, ate some formula, cried for two more minutes and went to sleep again. The story repeated around 6am, which was getting close to the actual wake up time. By 6:15 mom (who hardly slept) was back and I was off to work.
Right now Alla is asleep. Rita (Alla's mom) and I are getting ready to feed. Everyone is pumped (OK, let me rephrase - we are all less anxious that we should be) for the second night of sleep training. I really hope it goes as well as last night. Because if it doesn't - well, I hope it does...
more October pictures
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| excited about a trip 10/15/11 |
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| Zev is happy to be going too 10/15/11 |
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| Zev practicing sitting (with some assistance) 10/17/11 |
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| Ben on a walk 10/26/11 |
October pics
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| Side by side, in the jungle. 10/3/11 |
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| Ben, ready for a walk. 10/6/11 |
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| Zev is ready too, in his own fashion. 10/6/11 |
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| Standing by for Bjorn load... 10/6/11 |
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| ... and upclose |
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| Ben loaded |
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| Zev asleep, at his favorite place... |
Monday, October 10, 2011
final few pics from September
All of these were taken on the 30th
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| Ben in a swing |
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| Another night vision Ben. Those red eyes must come in handy... |
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| Smiling Ben |
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| Zevi and the elephant |
a few more pictures from late September
These were taken around 9/26
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| Ben big eyes |
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| Night vision Ben |
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| Zev, chilling |
4 months; Yom Kippur
The boys turned 4 months recently. For their "birthday" they got their vaccine injections, which made for formidable few days. Naturally, Saturday was Yom Kippur which yours truly was observing. The day was the first time I spent a significant portion of a day with the kids. The boys too were observing Yom Kippur, after a fashion - they refused to eat normally, sleep normally, which naturally did not improve their tempters. The combination of the fast with the kids acting up was memorable - certainly enough to make this one Jew wish he was at a temple.
By Sunday things were back to normal, more or less. The kids actually had a great night, with Ben setting another personal record - sleeping from 11:30pm to 6am. Zev still got mom to wake up and comfort him, but he is getting better about this too. During the day today I finally got to see the boys in good tempters. They played, talked to me, and showed their changing characters. In a complete reversal, Zev, when fed and dry, is quite and contemplative, while Ben wants to run everywhere and learn everything immediately. Ben is also more tolerant of technology - he actually was upset that he had to face away from the TV during one of the feedings (that just landed him upstairs where he ate without a fuss). Zev likes to stare at the TV too, though he switches his attention happily. The only other thing of note is that the boys have enthusiastically started their boxing training - I work with them on some combinations a few minutes a day and mom teaches them that punching balloons is fun. There is no way this can possibly backfire, right?
I will continue to try to post pictures in chronological order. I am still behind, but such is life. Please stay tuned.
By Sunday things were back to normal, more or less. The kids actually had a great night, with Ben setting another personal record - sleeping from 11:30pm to 6am. Zev still got mom to wake up and comfort him, but he is getting better about this too. During the day today I finally got to see the boys in good tempters. They played, talked to me, and showed their changing characters. In a complete reversal, Zev, when fed and dry, is quite and contemplative, while Ben wants to run everywhere and learn everything immediately. Ben is also more tolerant of technology - he actually was upset that he had to face away from the TV during one of the feedings (that just landed him upstairs where he ate without a fuss). Zev likes to stare at the TV too, though he switches his attention happily. The only other thing of note is that the boys have enthusiastically started their boxing training - I work with them on some combinations a few minutes a day and mom teaches them that punching balloons is fun. There is no way this can possibly backfire, right?
I will continue to try to post pictures in chronological order. I am still behind, but such is life. Please stay tuned.
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| Ben outside the house |
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| Zev having a good time |
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| The boys are getting ready to go for a ride |
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