happy birthday, Grandpa M!

happy birthday, Grandma L!

another interesting date

Today the boys are three weeks old and today is also the original due date.  For someone who was only supposed to join us today, they boys have done quite a lot already - they have seen a few places and met many important people.  They are both well over 6 lb, and looks like they are well on the way to being well-adjusted citizen of this world.  And of this country - they have health insurance and social security numbers.  To be closely followed, no doubt, by junk mail, voting information, and AARP pamphlets.

wolves and bears my ass.  these are two chipmunks!  after the 10pm feeding.

The boys have also celebrated in their usual style.  Benjamin set a personal best by peeing on dad three times in one diaper change.  The aim is definitely improving.  Perhaps, I am also getting slower and worse at dodging.  Benjamin also managed to poop on the socks he was wearing, to say nothing of the usual assortment of targets that were annihilated.  I suppose, briefly washing his socks is easier that washing his feet and toes, or pretty much giving him a bath.

I continue to happily pull all sorts of poop duty.  The phrase "ваше место возле параши" (Russian prison slang for 'your cot is by the shit can' designating low prisoner rank) resonates well with assessment made by HH shortly after the kids were born: "you are now the fourth most important person in your family".

first park; grandparents leave for Boston

On Saturday the boys had their first trip to the park.  Accompanied by a grand entourage they spend an hour or so on the grass (ok, not really on the grass, but you know, very near it).  The over all outcome is: the park is recovering from a visit of the rather noisy four generations of Kaplans and Manns.

Also, the same night the Boston grandparents went home, with a promise to come back soon.  Guys, you did awesome!  Thank you so much for those two weeks from all four of us!

in the park, with Zev

Now, it has been brought to my attention that we have been very slow responding to calls, e-mails, and especially to kind offers of visit lately.  Perhaps, now is a good time to tell people what it has been like in the last nearly three weeks.  Mind, the boys are very, very reasonable people, and it could have been MUCH worse.  here goes.

Life is cut up into rather neat three hour chunks.  Each cycle starts with waking up and possibly changing one or two of the boys.  One is fed from breast; when he is done, he is burped and switched to formula, while his brother gets the breast.  Number one is then burped again, possibly changed, swaddled, and placed down to nap, while his brother is bottle-fed, while mom pumps.  Number two is the burped, possibly changed, swaddled, and placed down for a nap.
Now, I can just hear people start offering suggestions on how to optimize this process.  For instance - why not feed two at once?  We'd love to, and sometimes do. The difficulty is that while Zev eats like a hungry wolf that he is (ze'ev is 'wolf' in Hebrew), Ben ranges from eating OK to not taking the breast at all, and rather taking his time with the bottle, like a deliberate, substantial bear (Beresh is from ber - 'bear' in Yidish).  Which pretty much negates all time advantages of double-feeding, and makes mom less mobile, while attached to a huge pillow.
Back to the explanation.  The activity runs anywhere from 50 minutes to an hour and a half, based on the size of poops, burps, and general enthusiasm of all involved.  Also, in some cycles a mid-nap change is required   Sometimes for both of the boys.  This leaves 120 to 90 (sometimes uninterrupted) minutes for everything else.  Literally.  That includes sleep, mental rest (i.e. not thinking of baby food or poop while awake), eating, showering (occasionally), all house chores, preparing supplies for the next feeding/pumping, and social life.  And looking for work, for some of us.
Over all, two people can do just feeding and sleeping.  And minimal supply prep.  Zero everything else.  With four people in the house, it was pretty decent - we got acceptable chunks of sleep.  One person cold be out of the house sometimes on a non-baby related errand.  Essentially, four can trade water, maybe swim a little.  With three it is a very slow sink.
Please be patient with us.  We have some help lined up.  We will get better.  To all of you who wait patiently, meet us when and where we ask on short notice, generally put up with us, and still remain our friends - thank you!

poop, continued

...and we're back.  In the last few days the boys have embarked upon a competition of 'who can poop the most at one time'.  The competition consists of storing up the material for 12-20 hours, and then releasing it all at once in a single event that can only be described as flood-like.  We refer to changing a diaper (sometimes also suit, changing table cover, and someone's shirt) after such an event as "clean-up" and everything around the ... geyser as "disaster area".  We are getting better at this.  We manage mega-poops with a few diapers, uncounted wipes, and a smile.  So far Zev is slightly ahead, but I am sure they aspire to greater and greater achievements. Let it never be said that the teenage boys have the greatest affinity for jokes  involving bodily fluids.  New parents (and grandparents) laugh way more about poop, spit, and urine, hands down.

In other news - both of the boys weighed in at over 6lb today, and we are cleared to let them sleep at night until they wake up hungry, rather than wake them (and whoever is pulling night duty) every three hours.  We all look forward to reducing the number of night feedings, even at the cost of feeding more frequently during the day.

first bath

Today the boys had their first bath(s).  The event was much like the first flight of a prototype airplane: there was way too much discussion, the tempers were high and opinions abundant, preparations were extensive, everyone was very nervous, the entire event lasted about a minute and did not amount to much, but…in the end no one was hurt and everyone was jubilant.  

two weeks and counting

It is very late, so I shall keep this posting brief.

Yesterday, on Monday, the boys celebrated their two week mark.  Even better - they both have surpassed their birth weight, as measured during a check up on Sunday.  Monday also saw the first time Alla was away from the boys, on a check up of her own (were she was pronounced recovering very nicely).

We are now also in full search of a nanny, with some hopeful leads, as we realize that absence of a nanny leads to despair and madness.  The search and the experience itself will no doubt provide all manner of hilarity, so stay tuned.

The weekend was good - first father's day congratulations are much appreciated, and Alla got to enjoy her first half-glass of wine in quite a few months.  The boys continue to improve rolling and head-holding skills.  I look forward to them getting more mobile with anticipation as well as a fair amount of dread.

The saga of installing the car seats in the stroller rolls on.  Evidently, pretty much no one in continental US is willing to provide tech support.  I am now in touch with a nice lady in the Netherlands, who asked for pictures of the pieces installed on the frame.  Which will be somewhat challenging to provide, since installing pieces on the frame is exactly what is not happening.  On points, round two also goes to the stupid plastic pieces.  I still, however, hold out hope for an upset knockout in later rounds.

a few pictures

These were taken by the hospital staff when the boys were three days old.

Benjamin

Zev

and the brothers together

under the sign of (Ben's) poop

It has come to my attention, my gentle reader, that an inordinate share of this blog is dedicated to bodily functions.  I can only apologize for that.  I suspect that for the foreseeable future the trend will very well continue.  Should you be so brave (or bored) - read on...

Two days ago Benjamin decided to reduce his pooping frequency from 7-8 times per day to about two.  In itself - not a tragedy or even cause for alarm.  Unless you are us.  Around 1pm we noticed that the poop/pee/feed white board indicated no poop for Ben since 4am.  In the mean time his brother, much on the same diet, continued to supply fertilizer per spec.  When none arrived at the 4pm feeding either, nerves frayed, tempers flared, books started to be read and I placed a call to the duty nurse at our pediatrician's office.  That the nurse had heard about eighteen million calls just like this one was obvious.  I was treated to a collection of soothing phrases about "adjusting to this world", "changing their schedule", and "just having a day".  But it is my baby, darn it!  No poop, extra fussiness - how could she ignore this?! I could smell being "handled" a mile away and appreciated it none at all.  I asked politely at how many non-pooping hours exactly should I start to worry.  This indeed puzzled the nurse and prompted a brief consultation with our physician.  The result, minus some more 'handling', was "since there are no real other symptoms, calls us tomorrow at 8am if no poop arrives."  Trusting in authority, we waited.

Awaiting the 7pm feeding we soothed Benjamin who was clearly not feeling great, but not screaming either.  Alla read Baby 411 - an excellent book, nice and concise, written clearly for a neurotic parent.  Just as Alla read out loud that indeed Ben was not suffering from constipation (different symptoms), his diaper revealed a regular dose on poop!  The cries of jubilation and celebratory dances commenced.  I truly cannot recall a single time when my parents, wife, and I were so excited by the site of excrement.

As visibly more comfortable Ben was swaddled and put down to nap, I did, however, remark to myself that the amount produced could not possibly account for a sixteen-hour interruption in service.  About the same time Alla read to us from Baby 411 that we should expect "the mother-load".  Shortly after it arrived, in all it's multi-diaper-filling glory.  And made us happy.

At this point the boys continue to function correctly, and my expectation of "normal" continues to be adjusted.  I am sure that when 8am rolled around and no call came from us, the nurses had a quite chuckle at yet another overly neurotic parent, or perhaps simply forgot about us altogether.  Correctly so.

Another lesson learned in subsequent hours was not to interrupt a baby who is pooping or has done so recently.  The rule is to let the baby alone for good 30-40 minutes and let them continue the process in peace, breaks and all.  An hour is safer still.  Anyone changing a baby ahead of specified time is likely to end up very surprised by the caliber, range, cunning timing, and shear power of baby artillery.  I can only say that the late night gravity demonstration pales in comparison.  At the time of writing of this entry three data points have been gathered, making the rule "three for three".  It is safe to say that "let the pooping baby lie" rule can now be considered 'golden'.  Well, yellow-greenish, to be precise.

In rare non-poop related news: yesterday the boys had another "first" - first trip into the outdoors (not counting the cars).  They spent excellent 30 minutes in the bassinet, sleeping in our back yard.  Today the time was extended to 60 minutes, while Alla caught up on her sleep, while my parents and I actually had a glass of wine in the warm late afternoon sun.  For a few dozen minutes life, poop and all, was perfect.

night after the big day

This post, gentle reader, shall be a little more graphic still.  Therefore, if you have no interest in reading about the joys of caring for a circumcision site (or two), you might want to skip this.

The night started very smoothly, with the boys still riding the high of the post-surgery tylenol, added to the anesthetic and the wine.  With some trepidation we waited for the effects to wear off.

As the hours wore on, the boys fussed perhaps a bit more, but in general did not show much discomfort.  Finally, it was time to feed them, which included changing the diaper.  At diaper removal we were treated to the site of a newly circumcised penis (pictures available on line, I am sure).  It looked scary enough, still partly swollen from the anesthetic (of which we were warned).  There was no delaying it any further, we had to provide site care.  The aforementioned care consists of two parts, per received instructions:
1. Pull on the remaining skin gently toward the body to avoid adhesion of skin to head of penis.  Mercifully, we were instructed to skip this step the first time.  Wise decision, as doing that required some courage.
2. Applying enough Vaseline to cover the head and the surgery site completely, to avoid adhesion to the diaper.

We decided to start with Benny, his extra-calm resulting in him being volunteered to be the test subject.  We stilled our nerves and went after step 2.  Have you ever tried to fashion a condom out of Vaseline?  Have you ever tried to fashion anything out of Vaseline?  Mom and I, jaws clenched, determination on our foreheads and sweat down my back (we assume mom remained cool under pressure), went at it.  I held the legs, mom sculpted.  Several tense minutes and two teaspoons of Vaseline later, we had something that looked OK.  We applied the diaper, at which point Benny moved, and the fruits of our sticky labors were all over the diaper.  We made another sculpture, closed the diaper, and resolved not to look.  As Benny fed, we proceeded to Zev, who pleasantly surprised us by making no noise at all, as long as his core was covered.  In fact, here credit goes to my parents for coming up with the procedure for changing diapers and clothing: keep something over whatever part of baby is not being worked on, especially chest and belly, and they will be OK with it.  The boys certainly seem to agree.

The first post-op feeding was done.  Mom agreed to help with the sculpting job for the midnight, Alla-and-I-only, feeding as we all took a break.

The second time around it became only more evident that the main outcome was an effective transfer of Vaseline onto diaper, via pee-pee.  At that point I had a rare moment of engineering inspiration.  Instead of trying to sculpt out of Vaseline, I decided to cover the entire front of diaper, thus preventing sticking.  A diaper can be Vaselined in advance, with the only "on-baby" part remaining is creating a thin coat of Vaseline around the penis head with a cotton swab to prevent adhesion of head to skin of the belly, unlikely as that maybe.  The procedure works like a charm.  Patent may be pending, but anyone reading this is welcome to the procedure as payment for reading these self-serving ramblings.  The only downside of the process is that a diaper coated with Vaseline looses a lot of their absorbing properties, resulting in dramatically more wetting of outfits and swaddling blankets.  We figured that to be a small price to pay for not having to play Michelangelo with Vaseline sixteen times a day.  We have used the procedure every feeding/changing for nearly 24 hours now, and intend to continue.  Even though we are periodically amazed how someone so small can wet through a (reduced capacity) diaper, shirt, outfit, two swaddling blankets, and onto the mattress sheet.

Step 1 of surgery site care requires a bit of courage to perform the first time, but the tiny movement, or my best interpretation of it, does eventually get done with no site of blood, no extra-protestation from the boys, no light-headedness for me, and, quite likely, with no effect whatsoever.

The boys do continue to learn.  They recently discovered the "two step pee" technique, of which we were warned at the hospital.  Also known as 'delayed peeing'.  Goes as follows: they let us change them patiently, and as we are almost done putting on a new diaper, they let out a terrific stream, getting the shirt, the outfit, one of us, and some of the surrounding area.

The hilarity truly reached a peak for Alla and I somewhere between 2 and 4 am last night.  We were awake, but our mental state was, well, as expected.  Picture this, my patient reader:
A darkened room.  Few sounds from outside, plus our whispered voices.  Zev sleeps peacefully in the crib, while Benjamin quietly fusses while being changed.  The light is provided by a bright LED light, pointed up, so it reflects nicely off the wall down on the changing area, while letting Zev sleep mostly undisturbed.

The new diaper is Vaselined and staged.  While I turn to dry my hands, Alla says: "Oh, this looks very wet!"  And the diaper flies into the 'Diaper Champ' (ingenious odor-containment device for diaper disposal. Thank you, S and R!).  Diaper two is prepared.  As I am finishing the job, I notice that the diaper looked a bit weird all along.  Mostly because I was applying Vaseline to the wrong end of the diaper.  Diaper two follows diaper one.  Diaper three is prepared, correctly this time.  As I am about to slide it under Ben Vaseline-first, Alla stops me: "Vaseline goes on the pee-pee, honey."  As we quietly remark on challenges of applying diapers, Ben produces a golden stream that arks good 15 inches up, over his head, somewhere into the darkness, beyond the cone of pale light.  The old diaper is long gone.  I have nothing in my hands to stop the stream with.  Two dozen or so blankets on the shelf below the baby may as well have been located on the Moon.  We stare at the perfect golden parabola and just giggle.  After about seven seconds of stupor, I stop the stream with my hands, still giggling, and try to contain the damage to the immediate disaster area.

Shortly after the babies are cleaned,Vaselined, fed, and sleeping; a few wet things are replaced and we head off to bed, me still smirking periodically at the two of us, just standing there and watching Ben demonstrate perfect parabolic motion in Earth's gravitational field.